Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Bush: Survivor Woman

This week we set out on a trip to the outback! I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, so my roommates and I packed for every scenario we might encounter. We rolled up to school with our huge duffel bags packed to the brim (and to our defense, out sleeping bags and pillows were in there) and everyone made fun of us and were laughing so hard! Seriously, I didn’t know what to expect! I was prepared to pull up to a desolate desert, red cracked soil, beaming sun, flies attacking you, nothing but shrubs and dirt for miles upon miles, no sign of civilization, and snakes on the prowl to suck your blood. We pulled up and I seriously laughed out loud! It was completely different than you would ever expect! There were trees everywhere you look, green grass, meadows, rivers and honestly it reminded me of Twilight, and was beyond beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, haha it still was a little rough, but I transformed into a survivor woman!
Here is a summary of the outback and how I became such an outdoorsy woman:
1. Dead lizard/salamander
As soon as we arrived we went on a walk down to the river. All of a sudden one of the girls in our group looks down and goes “oh hello there!” (Haha she was practically stroking this thing) and we looked down to find a deal salamander, like on Holes, dead, bleeding from the brain! We all had serious panic attacks, jumped so high in the air, and the boys pushed me right on top of it! Almost passing out, I had my first moment of weakness (5 minutes after being there) and from that moment on, I was determined to prove to everyone they were wrong about me being prissy.
2. Sleeping outside
We slept outside with no tent, haha in the actual outback, under the stars! All I can say is thank God I am a hard sleeper because I’m pretty sure I was cuddled up with a mouse all night long!
3. Fly Net Wearer
In order to ensure I wasn’t going to swallow a poisonous spider while I was roughing it, we rocked the fly nets! For some reason, with that thing on, I always looked like a dead mosquito haha.
4. Yabbie Catcher
A group of us went Yabbie catching (crawfishing)! We took raw meat and tied it in nets and threw them into this swamp. Paul and I got ours all situated and staked the string into the ground, and I flung the net into the water, but when I did, the stick broke and our net flew into the water and slowly started sinking! We panicked and were running around screaming haha because there was no way I was bout to get into that water! We convinced our teacher to put on boots and go wading into the water to get our net…haha basically she retrieved our net, but she may have contracted some rare disease! Oopsies!
5. Provider
After catching the Yabbies, I picked up the squirming creatures, helped cook them, snapped the bodies in half, cleaned and gutted the diarrhea stuff, and ate my hard work! Haha who am i? Basically I was the provider of our tribe!
6. Frog Woman
One night at the campfire, I felt something on my stomach and I thought my friend was rubbing my stomach because she was scratching my back! I looked down and there was a frog sitting on my stomach! I’m not sure if I was more concerned there was a frog on me, or if my stomach was big enough for it to be sitting there haha!
7. Australian Safari Lady
A group of us piled into the back of a work pickup to gather fire wood for that night, but on the way we went on an Australian safari. Red dirt was clouding around us and wind blowing through our hair as we went off-roading  through the outback! “This is like we are on an African safari, only in Australia!”
8. Wood Picker
9. Axe Chopper
I even had my turn at chopping wood, and am happy to report I still have all my limbs J
10. Kangaroo Whisperer
On our safari, we looked up and there was a kangaroo! We sped up and saw four roos, bigger than us, standing there in the wild! There was even a red one, which is supposedly a sacred animal! Basically, I became the Kangaroo whisperer.
11. Dirty Girl
Haha despite appearing “high maintenance, deep down, I’m a dirty girl.” Haha on our tour through the outback, I got covered in red dirt! It was all over my shirt, in my hair, and stuck in my nails, and I didn’t even care!
12. Ant Houser
So in the wilderness, I look down because I felt something itchy in my underwear, and there were ants the size of dimes crawling all over my body! I may have battle wounds, but I like to say I was being self-sacrificing and gave the ants a place to play!
13. Animal Cannibalism Promoter
After lunch one day, we were cleaning up and the host goes “girls, will you take the leftovers out to the coop?” Sounds simple, right?! We hiked to whatever the coop was and found a pen of chickens! We had to feed them this bucket, but realized we ate chicken for lunch! I started getting worried and we had to fling open the gate as chickens were clucking, flying at our heads, rushing to eat themselves!
14. All Natural
While in the bush, many of us participated in the No Shower Challenge! Lets just say I didn’t shower for 5 days, wore the same clothes all week, and had dreads so severe, everyone was horrified because things were nested in there! I smelled like a rose and had enough grease on my face that you could fry some bacon! The first time I took a shower, I stood under the water and the white tub filled with brown water…haha for 20 minutes!
15. The Ultimate Survivor Woman
Needless to say, this trip was about discovering a different side of myself none of us knew existed! It was seriously the best week ever and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! So if anyone ever plans to go to the wilderness, forget bringing Bear Grylls, bring me!